Was musing the spirit life again. There are so many ebbs and flows, ups and down on this path. It seems the higher the highs the lower the lows and in just rolling this around in my spirit I have a few lines of life to peel back.
Firstly in our desire to live spirit we often look for what to avoid
or a place to park our brain. You know when we get so far out on the
water we cant see land a boat or anything of natural comfort. Maybe
panic lurks in the background and if you have ever experienced panic you
know there is no ability to control actions in a panic state. But life
shines through in any situation. A life that is beyond any natural
ability we may have.
I remember as a child falling into the deep end of a public swimming
pool. A man sat 3ft away from me and watched as I began to drown. I
remember a silhouette of his face to this day perhaps 40 years later.
The issue was I could swim but as panic arrived I had no ability to do
anything. I clearly remember going under and fighting my way to the top
only to go under again. I actually have no recollection of getting saved
but I do know the life saver who pulled me out saved my life. But as I
think back to this event I can see the parallel to our spirit life. We
know how to swim or even float on top of life but it just takes a
moment, a trivial thing, to have us drowning in a deep end of life.
Our mind what a powerful yet restricting tool. But to be life, to
walk life, to let life consume us there has to be a denial an
abandonment of the daily concerns. Yes it goes against every fiber of
who we are yet in a spirit life we can. Our natural approach has been to
try and not think about the water or look around us but to put our head
down and try to not notice our predicament. In essence we are allowing
our brain to make a scenario of right and wrong. We try to not think
wrong but to dwell on the right. This approach works at low levels life
maybe but as we get out on the water there is a new way that emerges.
Such a way causes us to abandon, rest, abide in life. When there is a
flow we place our eyes on it and let it encompass everything that we
are. There gets a point we have to just not see. Not by conscious choice
but rather by natural spirit life.
So for example before leaving for Portugal for 11 weeks a new way of
seeing life arose. It was disturbing yet it was obvious once seen it
will be lived. We left for Portugal with perhaps $200 to last us for 11
weeks. We had become tired of the entrapment of finances, free of
financial concern. Picture a life never being bound to finances, never
knowing how much money you have or don't have. To give because it is
life to give and to not give because it is life not to give. Free of a
conscious decision or choice. So if it was for us to need $1000 then it
will be there. We would never know having never looked at the number.
Knowing that if money was needed it will be created and somehow,
someone, something has taken care of it.
So we arrived not looking at the bank and for the time here have
never looked at our account. Let me tell you that is not an easy thing
to do naturally as amounts bind us to carnal responsibility. After
arriving with around $200 known dollars we have seen life flow. Three
months rent has been paid at $1250 a month. Food has been eaten, cars
rented, gas put into the cars etc etc. To this end we still don't
understand how. It just stands to spirit life that what is needed will
be there and will be created. The freedom to live free of concern in
these areas is there but when on the water the panic is only a step
away. There are so many other outrageous areas attached to our journey
here that we cant even begin to express the outright stupidity of our
situation. Yet here we are living in a peace that goes beyond
It was in this peace we have given money away while here. It was just
right to do and in so doing it is the flow of the creative. I start to
see the creative has been restricted by what can only be termed as our
control. We live to have some sort of control of where and what we do.
But in Spirit life a freedom arrives that we just loose interest in
knowing, controlling or even caring. This is such a path of abnormality
it is impossible to be lived by conscious choice. The choice we made was
to say "yes Lord" and after that any choice we have gets in the way of
the creative flow. If we are making choices what to do, where to go,
what to give, when to and how to then realistically we are God of
ourselves and it can only be in the abandonment of non-life that life
happens. Where non-life is our learned natural ways we have called life.
But life is true spiritual creative life. Choice is a prison we choose
to reside in.
In my desire I cannot live. It can only be from seeing a spiritual
path I can walk. The romance of this path causes us to be like drunk men
, drunk on love and oblivious to potential limitations. It is in this
romance we enjoy the beauty of creation the moment of sun bursting
through our bedroom window. The place we are and the happenings of the
day. Can life get any better. Now yes to desire to live such is
impossible in and of itself. If I can see choice I have made religion
and I am living in the grip of self imposed religion. Abandon to the
life of romance from a loving God and know that no two people are alike.
No two romances the same, no need to take control just abandon and
allow love to consume us in every area we have learned to live. Then
truly out of death comes life as the bible says.